i tot i had made up my mind, but now i din

before 2009 ends, i was very determined to resign from my current job once i recovered coz i saw how my hubby struggled to take care of my sick son n myself n also himself n no help was rendered by his family. its a real pity i have no help from his family but this is all within my expectation and i am prepared to take the worst route, resign n stay at home to look after baby.

however when i tended on 4 jan monday, the whole world was in a big shock, my hubby was in a terrible shock though i had told him my decision days ago but he din take me seriously. he quickly told MIL and MIL was apologetic and told him she really dun know how to look after baby coz her 3 children were all raised by her in law. So what the hell is my in law doing? doesnt matter. so for the next few days, they tried ways n means to persuade me to stay. my colleagues oso persuade me to stay coz they still find me valueable to the company n to the team.

today when i went up to in law hse for lunch, MIL told me in the room, dont resign lo since son getting well, she din see for herself the sufferings my son has to go thru when he is sick, the struggles his own son is sacrificing, his daughter in law agony when she cant help coz she too is very sick and struggling too to recover. i asked myself why she ask me dun resign? is it scare my hubby will reduce her monthly income? i ask my hubby, he had no ans why his mum ask me dun resign. and i tink i shldnt speculate further in case more nasty thoughts surface in my brain.

so here i am, refix my brother's laptop and re-blogging abt my agonies. the agony of having to bring my son everywhere we go, the agony that he is sick but bcoz mum n dad have alot of tings on hand to do outside so he still has to follow us, the agony that my son will forever has to tag along with us till he is of reasonable age to stay at home n be independent. being my son is real tough but i believe i will be able to educate him n train him to be as tough as his mummy, who will work n take care of him and do housework and take care of my own family.

so 1 child is enough, stop enouraging me to have a 2nd 1 unless u wan to help me share my agonies.

wats for dinner?

my dear son went to zz at 545pm again .. all thanks to my dear hubby who startled dear son twice in roll, thats why dear son zz so late .. haiz so now dinner will nid to be postpone as well as i have finish cooking all the rice at home .. so have to settle dinner outside and have to wait till dear son is awake then we will be eating supper n not dinner ..

today is not such a boring day though there isnt much activities going on coz time flies. woke up at 930am, pump some bm then feed son then left home went bt batok for mac bf then went to philips securites then went ntuc then went shell pump $1 petrol then head home then cook lunch then mop floor then bath then now settle dwn to blog n play fb.

getting topic-less liao coz everyday is juz another day when i m at home with son. everyday wake up, feed him, play with him, tink of new nursery songs to sing to him then nite time hubby come home then find dinner then zz liao ..

tink when go back work, there will be a lot of tings to blog again coz confirm alot of gossips to blog abt .. haha but got time or not is another ting .. quite mix feeling abt going back to office to work.

today 1st time tried the entire new i nuovi make up set which i bought from sa sa HV. very happy with the end results coz everything is so matching.. been a super long time since i last change my foundation tone .. hehe so i will be more motivated to make up everyday .. i wish ..

k la .. thats all for now .. wats for dinner? depends wat time dear son wake up n wat food is available outside .. mee goreng? prata? chong pang nasi lemak? taiwan porridge?

woman's mind is hard to read, OLD woman's mind is even harder to read.

today i took out the pink ribbon which my MIL placed on my plant, so irritating, as and when she is happy she will come down to water my plants, if not happy then dont water them, one fine day she was so happy that she came down to 1 of my potted plant n pin 1 ribbon on it .. argh .. wat the hack is on her mind .. woman's mind is hard enuff to read, an old woman's mind is even harder to read .. so sian of her hot n cold treatment .. yest she called my hubby to say he got a lot of letters, ask him go up take but bcoz my son was very grouchy so he said he will go up tonite to take the letters. . after he was off the line, he said why cant she bring dwn .. ya lo  .. i couldnt agree more with him .. why cant she bring them dwn for us??!! so weird .. wat exactly does she wans from us and wat is she tinking? sometimes she is happy mood, she will brew soup n bring dwn for us, sometimes she overcook, she ask her daug/son to ring us ask us if we going up to eat when in fact she already overcook but scare my FIL scold, so ask us if we going up. since already overcook then juz command us go up eat lo .. no nid purposely ask us going up to eat or not.

and she is watching when our windows close n open day in day out .. not tiring meh to keep monitoring us? the same goes for my FIL. if 1 day he come back from work n find our windows close earlier, he will ask us go out wat time, go where.. sometimes they at nite come back earlier frm their ktv session they will ask us so early come back arh .. then came home late like 10pm+ then will comment u all so late still lights on arh .. wat are they trying to find out from us?? what does it matter when i on my lights or close my windows?? so frustrating!!! wat do they expect us to do from the way they are asking us qns like that ..

and my hubby does not wan to be unfilial so always ans their qns though his attitude is also getting a bit bad with time coz they keep asking n asking .. give us a break!

really dont know how to react to their qns and sometimes hot n cold treatment. cold treament when we dont bring our son up on wkday nites, on wkends, when we MIA for 1 wk then when we go up, they will comment .. oh back from overseas liao ah? come out from jb eat lunch ah?? wah lau ..thats why no matter wat i will try my best not to go up for meals. so mentally torturing .. wat type of parents are they behaving? childish parents?

my hubby has been eyeing condo tis 2 wks since our last big fight over their parents 2 wks ago .. i dun care move to condo or not .. but juz feel like moving away from them .. condo or not, doesnt matter, live in sengkang oso good .. our 5yrs is coming soon .. then we can sell our flat. . but by then the mkt rate for flat will be much higher n we might not be able to afford.. haiz i truely regret buying this flat though location is good, amenities are nearby, flat is good .. but upstrs in law no good n they will nver move out from here, so only we can move. . haiz .. where to find such good flat, good amenities elsewhere??

so regret .. wat should i do but REN lo ..