MC 2 days, 1 Day off in lieu

haha sad to say very unsuccessfully trying to get fit and then feeding myself wif my food after excercise. . how to lose weight like tat?

went to c Dr Feredick Goh on Wed for my long lasting cough n he gave me 2 days MC to stay at home and i already applied 1day off in lieu on friday, so i got to rest for 5days in row .. so how have i been spending them?

Wed: c doc, then went for pedicure @ IMM, then back to farrer rd for dinner den fetch mum to my hse to sleep so tml morning we can go cpf board together to sort out some stuffs.

Thu: went bank to check out current deposit interests and met colleagues for lunch coz its my nu er sue lin bdae lunch .. then evening time went to Bt Batok to have a 6laps swim .. wow .. felt so fit after tat but strained my arm muscles coz din warm up properly..den met this very good guy who let me in coz i forget to bring $$ but later when yilong came to fetch me, i return the $$ to him. hehe so nice guy, or i will have walked in vain.

Fri: do hsework lo .. haha felt so bad mum came over to help me with the washing clothes so today decided to wash the remaining clothes with the washing machine. nite time meeting yilong & his colleagues go havelock tian xia di yi shua for steamboat buffet @ $15 per pax .. wow .. eat again..

Sat: intend to go sentosa but saw on tv tat the ch8 artists are going tml as well to Palawan beach then i dun felt like going anymore leh .. haha coz will be so crowded . .then i dun know if siloso beach renovation is completed or nt .. so how? .. no plans but i am determine to make plans by tonite so that tml will have a fun day..

Sun: rest lo ... n going back to Dr Goh for free review of my cough .. got to work on Monday liao so muz caught my last afternoon nap ..haha

oh ya when i went to c dr goh, he recommended me n yilong to go back to c him for advice on how to get more fertile and increase productivity for my "factory" but i told him i may still not be mentally prepared yet to have a baby. seriously, after seeing my mj kaki get preg, the urge for me to get preg is decreasing with each passing day. why? bcoz i nid to give up my fav processed food like hotdog, luncheon meats, tibits, etc and change to eat more healthier food, my looks may oso change, then nid to spend more $$ on maternity clothes, argh .. everyting in my mind that cross by juz does not tell me the benefits of being preg n having a baby now.

i am now at the peak of my life and i really dont feel like having a baby to bore me down. but i know yilong is very eager to have a baby becoz he even went to seek consultation with the mj kaki's hubby .. sianz .. its a bad struggle.

after mym baby come out, who will look after the baby? me? not possible, i will not wan to sacrifice my worklife for the baby, if give my mother in law, den she is alaways so sickly, visiting the doc now and then, how to look after it? moveover, i do not have so many days leaves to take whenever she go for her mthly / forthnitely checkups .. as for my parents .. dont even nid to mention. Mon/wed/fri mum go for diaysis, dad almost everyday go out with frds and also not in good health laterly.. haiz ..

my mum advice me to talk 1 step at a time, but being a pessimistic person and someone who likes planning for the future rather than leave 1 step at the time, how can i not worry for the future? and my hubby, he is really take 1 step at the time .. haiz .. dont tell me wat to do .. i already know wat i wan to do, but i do not have the support of my family members, feeling so isolated now and esp when the topic of baby comes to my mind .. haiz...