i tot i had made up my mind, but now i din

before 2009 ends, i was very determined to resign from my current job once i recovered coz i saw how my hubby struggled to take care of my sick son n myself n also himself n no help was rendered by his family. its a real pity i have no help from his family but this is all within my expectation and i am prepared to take the worst route, resign n stay at home to look after baby.

however when i tended on 4 jan monday, the whole world was in a big shock, my hubby was in a terrible shock though i had told him my decision days ago but he din take me seriously. he quickly told MIL and MIL was apologetic and told him she really dun know how to look after baby coz her 3 children were all raised by her in law. So what the hell is my in law doing? doesnt matter. so for the next few days, they tried ways n means to persuade me to stay. my colleagues oso persuade me to stay coz they still find me valueable to the company n to the team.

today when i went up to in law hse for lunch, MIL told me in the room, dont resign lo since son getting well, she din see for herself the sufferings my son has to go thru when he is sick, the struggles his own son is sacrificing, his daughter in law agony when she cant help coz she too is very sick and struggling too to recover. i asked myself why she ask me dun resign? is it scare my hubby will reduce her monthly income? i ask my hubby, he had no ans why his mum ask me dun resign. and i tink i shldnt speculate further in case more nasty thoughts surface in my brain.

so here i am, refix my brother's laptop and re-blogging abt my agonies. the agony of having to bring my son everywhere we go, the agony that he is sick but bcoz mum n dad have alot of tings on hand to do outside so he still has to follow us, the agony that my son will forever has to tag along with us till he is of reasonable age to stay at home n be independent. being my son is real tough but i believe i will be able to educate him n train him to be as tough as his mummy, who will work n take care of him and do housework and take care of my own family.

so 1 child is enough, stop enouraging me to have a 2nd 1 unless u wan to help me share my agonies.